It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
