he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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