I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
