was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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