it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
