3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Drunk walkin through police station. America
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
