I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Randomize
