You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
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