I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
