You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
You're a waste of cheezeits
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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