He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
