I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
