Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
