Do you still have your period?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
