I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
