nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
