yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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