there's paper in my vomit.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
