just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
