I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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