I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
