We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
