i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
