he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
