just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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