Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
