so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
