make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
