why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
