its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
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