I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
