We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
