I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
