We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
