He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
