my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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