i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
