So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
