In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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