I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
