No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
