Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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