You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
