Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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