I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
