my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
