Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Panties = found
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