nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
