"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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