I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
