is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
