U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
