I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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