we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
she peed on how many people?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
