Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
