I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
The power of my boobs compel you
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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