I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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