yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
